I'm in the military and stationed in Italy, I live literally around the corner from a school where a lot of the international students in kindergarten through 8th grade. I have my mother living with me, as she was rendered homeless, however, the ex-wife does have issues with that. I have two years left over here and think it would be an absolutely wonderful idea if our son came to spend his first grade year here in Italy, making new friends, learning a different language, spending quality time with his Dad, and getting to see a new environment. The ex-wife has said that she does not think that it is a good idea. I'd like some feedback on what others feel about the subject and how they would go about convincing someone that it is a good idea.
Marriage & Divorce - 7 Answers
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1 :
You should let her know that it will be a good cultural experience for him. Not many kids, or even adults get to travel and see another country. And she'd be holding him back from something that he may appreciate his whole life. It will be a great memory for him, and if he has the opportunity,she should let him go.
2 :
Though your son is young, i think that is a wonderful idea. He could have so many new experiences. Im not sure how to convince your ex wife though, because school is supposed to be starting soon, but you can try to talk with her and give her all the reasons as to why it would be a great opportunity. And tell her that the fact that because your son is starting first grade when he comes back for 2nd it wont be too hard for him to readjust. Also see if maybe it would be possible for her to go to Italy when your son goes on a break for school. Good luck, it sounds like a wonderful opportunity for your son.
3 :
Well, it sounds like a good idea in theory, but in reality it may not be. Children that young need stability and they don't need to be bounced around. Being away from his mother for a year may be traumatizing for him. At his young age, he won't understand why he's there in the first place and he may not appreciate your original intentions of exposing him to new languages and cultures. Maybe you can work it out to where he comes to visit you in the summer. He would still get the exposure without turning his world upside down. I know this may not be the answer you were looking for, but I'm just trying to be honest. I raised three children and even though they were all very intelligent at that age, they were also very innocent and vulnerable.
4 :
Gather information for her to look at and absorb herself..... School ciriculum / calendar A photo of the school & the playground. Your neighborhood. Would grandmother be helping out with daycare issues....let your ex know that your son will be well cared for either by her or a stand in daycare. If you promise to return him after the school year...do so. Letting your child go to a foreign country is very scary. I did it with my two children as they were introduced to thier step mother. The best thing you can do is try to assuage her fears. Work with her as much as possible....it may net you the desired result.
5 :
Firstly, does your son speak Italian? Do you have regular contact with your son now, and before this? How long have you been posted overseas, and would he feel comfortable with you? If the answer is no to both those questions, because of the distance involved and cultural differences, how do you think your son is going to cope in a different country amongst people he barely knows? Does you Ex have a good relationship with you? Or could she fear that once your son moves with you, you will not let him return home? Is that something she thinks you might do? Is that something you have contemplated? After all, a year would give you strong custody rights in a lot of places. And if your Ex has a problem with the Mother-in-law and she now lives with you, and so will have a major influence over the child should he move with you, why do you think she'd allow it? There's a lot to consider, so I hope you and your ex can work through the issues to find what is best for your son.
6 :
Personally, I would only allow it if my ex-husband was an honest, reliable, responsible and respectable man and father. If there was any cheating, lying, violence or abuse during the marriage, then NO WAY would I let my 5-year old child go to him overseas, because his past behaviour would indicate he was not trustworthy or caring. The reason: 5 years old is very young, and a year is a long time, and Italy is far far away. Yes, it might be a wonderful bonding time for you and your son, and yes it would be a fantastic cultural opportunity for your son, but I really believe that you will have your work cut out for you trying to convince your ex-wife to allow it. As I said, 5 years is very young, and a mother doesnt like to let a small child out of her sight for so long.
7 :
a mother misses her kids and wants to see them everyday .. the thought of her kid living in a far away country and that she can't see him whenever she wants to easily is hurtful ur idea is a wonderful idea don't get me wrong .. but a mother can't stay very far away from her son
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